As I Observe

Beginning of an Era...

2012-01-01T00:06:00.001+05:30

Tonight as usual the world will be drunk, partying harder, dancing at those monstrous beats. Rain of wishes and kisses will start, mobile operators will make the most of it. Millions of smiles will rise but not all will be true. Somewhere the hope has died and born again. Many resolutions will be planned. Fireworks are in action. Every passing second seems small but it is full of chaos. Someone is literally saying goodbye to this word and someone is just born. Too many emotions. Love, anger fight, the cocktail one can hardly consume!

I pray for the humanity and innocence. Hope of those unfortunates may never die and the quest of that hope coming into reality be fair in 2012! May this be the beginning of life with purpose for everyone. Amen!

Feelings!

2011-12-09T20:45:00.001+05:30

Feelings! The best thing ever happened to humans. Ability to feel the joy, laughter, hatred, jealousy, pity, love, and there are so many emotions and only few can be named. That's the beauty of it. Some feelings are just to be felt. Can't be expressed, can't be described but only be felt. Feelings! Just like the energy in the universe keeps changing forms rapidly, feeling can turn into another feeling in no time.

You can not control feelings. They come, they go, they pass through you and you can't control it. All you can control is nothing but your actions when you feel them. The ability to react. There are books in market, how to control yourself, how to be a successful and lot of stuff for self improvement but none of it can address the problem of feelings. You may change your attitude, way of thinking but feelings how can you change them?

I don't know that either. Some things are better left to time to be resolved. People say time is a good healer but does it control your feelings too? Only the passing time will tell someday! Lets see...

Revolution 2020

2011-12-06T20:50:00.001+05:30

I read this book day before yesterday and then slept with a question mark in my mind. The book was entertaining and catchy no doubt, but yet it seemed incomplete. It had lot of things missing. First of all there were no humorous jokes one would normally except from Chetan Bhagat's writing style.

Anyways the reason it left a big question mark in my mind was because I could relate with it intensely and the story had no proper conclusion. The protagonist of the story in the end turned out to be the good guy but in a very less convincing way and that is why the question mark. You can relate with the protagonist, understand his feelings but when a time comes to judge him at the end, it leaves a question. Chetan did left it to the readers to judge him but in the end he did give the hint by saying he is indeed a good guy.

The book raised many questions in my mind. The most head cracking ones were Education and love. Love is supposed to be a diving feeling but is it really diving? After going through the twisted track of emotions I did agreed with protagonist! "Love is a bitch! It fucks you up" However there is something from Dexter that says "If you put faith in wrong things, you will be disappoint badly" The protagonist made the same mistake. Inevitable one of course. He had a chance to make things all right for himself yet he couldn't because of the emotional dependency the love caused him. He did get shortcuts and wild card entry to success in his life but in the end all turned out to be useless. Chetan must have been trying to show him as a dark character twisted by the reality and circumstances but in the end does what is right but he failed. The protagonist to me seemed like a loser. The good guy in the story was nothing but a side character. Had nothing much to do with the story.

As you can see I have taken the content of thee book pretty personal! So my opinions towards the book aren't really unbiased. I just wish that every end of the story or equation in life should be a simplicity. There is no doubt we all have complex story lines and some of us go through even more complex twisted emotions in life but the goal should be to simplify the equation and move ahead.

I am going through some twisted emotions right now! It might not be as twisted as i think from some other point of view but it will take time for me to realize that and i am willing to spend that much time as long as I see things clearly.

The Inner Peace

2011-12-03T23:04:00.001+05:30

What was the last time, you had a blast, just with your own self? What was the last time you actually felt relieved when left alone? Just few questions for you as well as me. Everyone has a voice in their head. Few know about it and few don't. I have a voice in my head too. It is the reason why I am writing now. I prefer to call that voice my inner self. Sometimes I feel connected with it and sometimes I don't. Question is how do you even know you are connected or disconnected. Now that is one messed up shit!

One thing I know is when I am happy being me, when I am proud of myself, when I am able to let go things which once I thought impossible that is when I know I am connected with myself. Just like this inner self (the morally righteous self) everyone has a dark soul as well. Being a Dexter fan I'll call it dark passenger. The dark passenger is our friend too. It is the reason we can hate, feel jealous, feel threaten feel insecure, feel ambitious, feel the need of power. A man need cocktail of both souls otherwise that man is either god or pure evil. Fortunately most of us lie in between.

I have been trying to make balance between these two since a long time. I leave those efforts to time as it is the best teacher and healer. Sometimes I learn, sometimes I unlearn. The balance is what I call the inner peace. I hope we all get it at the crucial times of our life because that is when we need it most!

Pulling myself together...

2011-11-14T00:37:00.001+05:30

There are some serious people out there. Doing some really serious work. Many of us call them psychic. Many of us make fun of them. I was one of these people so I exactly know what it means. But these serious people they don't even give a shit. Maybe because they don't have a time and even if they do they won't waste it for that reason. I wanted to be serious like them. They somehow inspired me. Although with a routine so shitty and life without life in it, their life inspired me and I ask myself, what is that bloody thing? What is it that makes their personality so inspiring. I shake my head in confusion and questions only to provoke the voice in my head that said it out loud "It's a life with a purpose!" Holy shit! I finally knew the answer but only to realize that it was also the answer to my misery. I have been in search of purpose ever since. Many times I found one but couldn't stick with it. Many times I thought the purpose was to find love. It was a beneficial thing for me so I always thought of it as a purpose and yet even when I found love the sense of completeness, sense of being like those serious people never came around me. I am still searching. Maybe I will find the purpose one day. I wouldn't waste my time then. I just hope it happens sooner.

P.S. By serious people i mean personalities like Albert Camus, Einstein Newton and those Scientists and also Christopher Nolan and many other great personalities like them.

Here I am! Where are you?

2011-11-10T00:44:00.000+05:30

The End has come and gone
and yet here I am waiting for the beginning
The beginning of you and me
May be its to early for us to begin
But you are the only one with whom it seems right
The world is fair and perfect when only you are there
May be i am exaggerating but its worth expressing
The meaning that is gonna be meant one day by you and me :)

Its always a new start....

2011-10-13T14:12:00.001+05:30

I keep falling just when I feel I hit the bottomI still keep hoping to rise and become wiseBut every time I try I end up being messed upBut it doesn't matter I can always have a brand new start

Collecting the shattered pieces...

2011-10-02T23:23:00.002+05:30

All i had to do was let you go but i couldn't
I was supposed to keep myself calm but i couldn't
I could always see the positive but i didn't
I chose to destruct when i had option to construct
I took it for granted that everything heals with time but...
Somethings do heal but with bruises left behind
I knew god was there yet i made place for evil in my heart

Now consequences surround me to pay back what i deserve
I try to resist but it is too late now
Shattered heart and the shattered pieces of love everywhere
What have i become? what have I done?
It isn't love anymore but pure evil feeling.
I realize the horrible mistakes i have made.
I am not the same person anymore that met you years back
The innocence is lost replaced by a dumb joke

There are no second chances but i wish to take one
I take this chance to apologize to you and myself
What is done is done what is said is said
It is always been hard for me to let you go but now I have to try
The evil forces keep me from letting you go but i will fight back
My love was never about being possessive or some negative feelings.
It was beyond everything and greater than all the goodness i had
My love for you meant no expectations but only the feeling of love.
I wonder in shock how I forgot the meaning so fast
how I lost the grip from the divinity of love.
It was one sided affair I never regret.
It got beautiful like a rising flower when you loved me too
You made me realized how gr8 it feels when caring and love is from both sides.

I am sorry dear that I ended up being a monster when I could become someone else
I don't care whose fault it was anyway.
May be you were wrong as much as I was but it doesn't matter now
My feelings were never meant to be judged and neither yours.
I will remember you for the divinity of love.

Letting you go for greater good only makes me feel better now.
Wherever you go my best wishes won't leave you.
If ever felt lonely just close your eyes and remember i am wishing you all the best
Every moment, every second and with ever heart beat.

The constant called Change!

2011-05-20T19:14:00.006+05:30

We keep waiting , we desperately keep looking for it, we are wandering everywhere but the search doesn't seem like to end and ironically thats the beauty of it, thats the tragic part of it and thats the shocking thing about it.

(Fortunately or Unfortunately) We all are participated in this race of life where everyone is in the process of achieving goals and fulfilling their ambitions. Some gets there sooner and some takes a while. By the time we achieve our goals realization sinks in. That, what we achieved, what we fulfilled doesn't really matter. It's the process that leads us to this point of fulfillment is what really matters. So whose wiser? the one who gets there sooner or the one who gets late? Well the answer won't matter if the one doesn't know the significance of process.

We all make choices. few turns out to be perfect, and rest just keep leading us to the perfect ones. There are no wrong choices. Only thing is the number of choices we make to make a perfect one will cost us only one thing. A constant called change! which is neither in the beginning, nor at the end but its within the process itself. It is the constant called change!

2011

2011-02-01T20:12:00.001+05:30

Another cheer for this brand new year

Technology is advanced and so does the pain

Standards are high and so is the inflation

Recession is past and so are the opportunities

where are the golden days that promised fairy tales

Anyways We are here. Lets make it fair

Lets start it from within to make it begin

Say yes to freedom No to inequality

we share same pain same expression for the joy

When the goal is same aim is same why different casts?

Humanity is expression of soul

So lets express lets celebrate!

Sky at right angle

2010-08-21T15:39:00.001+05:30

Dreams...

2010-08-20T01:32:00.002+05:30

Every time i went out of the city, i always dreamt of goin to those green hills n actually spend sm time bt it never happened until last saturday... The dream came true ;-)

Open sky

2010-08-20T01:29:00.001+05:30

The green meadows on the hill, wide sky above me, and the temptin air around me... Where are my wings???

2010-05-31T15:02:00.000+05:30

check dem out!
http://picasaweb.google.co.in/apoorvdeshmukh/ClickedWhenSmthnClicked#

Okayama Garden

2010-05-13T19:15:00.001+05:30

View Full Album

The Garden I recently Visited…..

One of the awesome place where you should must hangout once in Pune.

Cheers~~

The Power of Internet (Fast Internet)

2010-05-13T18:59:00.001+05:30

The idea of going to my mom’s office never sounded very interesting until

the day i visited it and started checking out the internet for time pass.

I just loved the speed. It was very fast. Within a very short time I download GBs of important data for myself. I started blogging which was paused from quite a long time. Now I come here often. Every day i discover something new here. Even now i am blogging with windows live writer . Well that sounds geeky but yea I am geeky at this moment now. Wish you all a fastest internet. Cheers~~

Hmm....

2010-05-10T17:13:00.001+05:30

No matter how long it takes
No matter how much it pains
will keep chasing the dreams
cz its now or never
.
.
.
CRAP!! :D There is nothing interesting goin on in my head but stil wanna blog so take this! ;)

The countdown...

2010-04-01T21:59:00.001+05:30

Finally, have prepared my schedule for the exam. I don't think I'l be able to follow it bt dis time i wanna give my best shot! Lets see....

Give me some sunshine...

2010-04-01T17:26:00.002+05:30

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain...give me another aim i can't study anymore :-(

Just another day...

2010-04-01T11:10:00.001+05:30

Such a lonely day.. N its mine... Exams are approaching and i am feeling like a prisoner here :-( prisoner of boredom. Can't go out in this hot crazy summer. All i can do is look out of the window n get back to work....

Blossom!

2010-03-31T22:29:00.001+05:30

Sometimes little little things cheer up the mood. For me today was this flower :-)

Idols poster by me n my friend sonu

2010-03-31T22:03:00.001+05:30

Well No one is idol n it is totally impossible to fine sm1 perfect bt yea what you do that defines u. So lets do smthn better n best for the society

In desperate need of water

2010-03-31T21:48:00.001+05:30

Well, wat a situation can teach to animal...

HOME a film by Yann Arthus-Bertrand

2009-08-29T00:13:00.004+05:30

Amazing documentary film on our Mother Earth! The movie is not just about global warming or anything but it's beyond that! Do watch it guys. I wish if I had seen it in theatre. This film has given an aerial picture of our earth and a short tale of earth from its beginning to the present scenario.

I just speechless now! Here is an link where you can watch the full movie! Once again, Do watch it folks! ;)

Watch Here. Click On the Link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqxENMKaeCU

Swine flu....!!!!!

2009-08-09T19:35:00.004+05:30

I was sweating! Somehow i tried but couldn't controlled the increased rate of my heartbeats. I ran towards the electronics department. I was half an hour late for the practicals! Before i could say anything, she asked me, ''Why are you so late? Usually i never run out of the reasons but that day i couldn't figure out any reason to save my ass. The only word i could speak out was 'Swine Flu'. "So...?" "....So i was searching for mask and ultimately got late" It was the worst story i could made but it saved me. The panic in Pune for Swine flu has already begun and i guess they will shut down my college for some days.

I dig out some information later to figure out what this H1N1 monster is. Unlike any other flu it transmits from person to person. The common surgical mask that people are using currently seems to be of no use as the information says that such masks cannot filter this virus very well but they are not so useless also if such masks are provided to the infected person! At least it won't spread through their coughing.

Well, I just hope none of my dear ones and also myself get infected by this swine flu and this swine flu series gets in control.

Loose control!!

2009-08-03T16:40:00.006+05:30

Finally, I didn't give up today! Every day i check out this page, think of writing something and then i simply quit because at very next moment i find those topics absurd but today it was something different. Today i found the life to be absurd and this whole thought was absurd! It is said that man is superior to any other living thing just because he can think and even it is said that the main reason of human stress is that he keeps thinking all the time! I guess that's what happening with me since long period. Sounds strange, sounds weird but i like THINKING all the time, no matter how stupid it is!

I enjoyed a lot last year and still enjoying this year. Studies seems to have a very low priority in my life. Friends, relationships, family, career money, controversies , i almost tried to drink a cocktail of these topics! Had stormy discussions with friends. It was a kind of intellectual hunger i suppose. But in the end i simply end up with a big headache!

Presently, i feel my life is dominated by many other factors but not me and the worst part is my time management sucks! However, I am still trying to gain control and i am sure i will.

(Have decided to blog often now, lets see)

That Evening Walk...

2009-03-13T21:21:00.005+05:30

Irritated, depressed I was walking back to my home. It was a cloudy kind of atmosphere. While coming back I took a long root towards the home than a regular one. The traffic and the crowdie lanes were annoying me so I thought of choosing the silent way. There were chances of the arrival of the rain at any time. I was already tired with thinking of life and the misery it brings sometimes.

It was a quiet residential area and was getting more beautiful with the rainy atmosphere. There were lot of trees which reminded me of my childhood. I used to water the plants at my home every day during those childhood days. I even used t talk with them. The trees were looking very happy. Somehow they managed to bring a smile on my face and with no time I was lost with the beauty of nature.

The trees, the birds, the flowers and the houses looked like they were conversing with each other. Then for a moment I tried to recollect the last moment when I had a nice talk with nature and unfortunately I couldn’t. How can it be possible? Am I the same person who once used to be a die-hard nature lover? There was a time when it was difficult for me to imagine a life without all these beauty of nature and the peace it used to offer but then it seemed to be I had lost contact with it.

It was raining by then. The smell of wet sand was hypnotizing. I continued walking watching the long, handsome trees. The wind seemed to be the reason why all trees were smiling. They all made me forget the reason why I was sad. It was the end of the road where I stopped for moment and then I started walking the same root for one more time, just to cherish myself.

If there is god, or spiritual happiness then it’s nowhere but within the nature itself. I felt a kind of enthusiasm while walking. I thought it’s stupid but then I compared the life with the nature. Last few years changed my life significantly. Life was fast by then. Gardens and all those places which once used to be a great hangout were replaced by the shopping malls and the multiplexes. It’s funny, it’s tragic but people seemed to be inclined towards the artificial beauty. It’s a fact that most of us had lost contact with the nature and it’s dangerous.

I still can’t express what I was really missing all these years but I found my answer during the walk. What I had written may not make any sense to you but then in that case just have a walk at your nearest nature park or something and try to make a conversation with the nature. You might get my point. :)

Brand New Beginning...

2009-02-01T20:15:00.002+05:30

I thought i can stay without blogging but my obsession brought me back to the track.
Well, at this moment i really don't have anything to write on...
Anyways Belated Happy New Year!

Terrorist next door!

2008-11-27T22:56:00.010+05:30

You can never feel the pain until you get enough of it. It's easy to get sympathise or empathize with something you see or care about but when it comes to you is it really that easy?
In the middle of night when Mumbai was under attack i was enjoying a movie on my laptop. It was Jubin, my friends call that took my breath away. He was calling from Mackichan. The hostel at Girgaon Chowpatty. The gunshots, the firing sound, police vans and the panic situation. The ATS chief got himself dead during the firings at Taj. Many officers lost their lives while fighting against terrorism. What to blame? The dirty politics? terrorism? corruption? Our ignorance?
Couldn't sleep the whole night! Someone comes to your house, knocks the door and breaks you into pieces. Are we gonna reamin helpless and hopeless about tomorrow?

i really understand the meaning of peace now. It's real! You will never understand the meaning of peace until such kind of things happen. I hope everything gets resolved soon! A common man has already had enough of this. Lets pray for the ones who have lost their loved ones in these attacks. I guess maintaining the peace and balaced social equlibrium is not just the responsibility of our government but it is ours too.

Live life Imagination Style!

2008-11-21T21:29:00.008+05:30

When dreams are shattered, self esteem is on low, things are taking place exactly opposite of what they are supposed to be and then.... mysteriously realization comes, picture abhi baki hai mere dost.....
When i think of my teacher there appears an image of a gangster lady holding an AK47 and asking me how does the transistor work? Like those Max Payne style games, i look into the past thinking i will find the answer somewhere but it doesn't work and a gunshot! I can even see the bullet coming towards me in a slow motion and what? I forcefully try to come out of this crap and plans to study later. I wonder if it happenes with anyone else also.
This imagination keeps going on in most of d free times. In the bus I see people dancing with conductor. In reality they keep struggling to stand properly but they can't due to the rash drivings of driver n whatever.

Somewhere i enjoy this. Instead of complaning about life, why not look for a fun through it. :)

The Darkness Within...

2008-10-14T22:41:00.003+05:30

When everything was going smooth... i encountered the darker side of mine. It's not the first time i encountered but it's the first time when i realized it. Some introspection brought it to my notice. I just don't know how to deal with it. Yes i do accept what i am although i know that this darker side is gonna put me in real bad shit someday or may be i am already suffering b'coz of that. It's the hatred and jealousy and may be more than that. I never realized that how selfish i was uptil now or till i am! But who cares. Why there's a compulsion to live life with co-operation kind of system? Fuck that shit...Be independent. Do what you want..Be what you are....Live and let live.....I know how this sounds...Sometimes it even contradcits with the way i live but this is how i am. May be i can change myself or why should I? Living in a dilemma....Apart from all this crap, at this moment i just know that there exist some f***ing constant x belonging to darker side of mine which i don't know how to eliminate.....Insecure, Self obsessed, possesive and a failure to himself.....n yes thats me! I am not at all depressed but confused about who i am really?

The Same Routine

2008-10-02T14:56:00.005+05:30

These Days...

Sometimes it's never about how it gets started but how you go through it. Everyday i get up expecting something new and endup with the same routine. I keep trying to change the things but in the end have no choice other than repeating the things.
Is it a drawback of being an Introvert? Why can't people stop interferieng into one's lives. hmm...i think i really need a break....May be this is just a part of time.

These days....
Life is like a 'Nine inch bail's Lyrics.

I believe I can see the future
'cause I repeat the same routine.
I think I used to have a purpose
then again,
that might have been a dream.

I think I used to have a voice,
now I never make a sound.
I just do what I've been told.
I really don't want
them to come around, oh no.

Every day is exactly the same.

Lost!

2008-09-05T03:07:00.011+05:30

It's pure gossip, entertainment, bulshit till it happnes to you but once you had a taste of it it no longer remains the gossip but a bitter fact.

That was a real fine morning. Like an everyday routine I got up turning off my mobile alarm, listening to some pops and went to bathroom. Within 10 minutes I was back to my room and shockingly there was something missing and it was nothing but my lovely cell. I tried calling to my number but ended up with echoes ‘the no you are trying is either switched off or unreachable.’ That was a theft and I just couldn’t believe that.

I lost my cell but more than that i lost my mental peace...... :-(

Living an illusion...

2008-08-07T12:57:00.007+05:30

I was walking alone in the night.
thinking about the past present future.
It seemed like a dream
truth, fiction, love, emotions
a cocktail of delusions...

2 weeks has got passed since i am shfted to pune. At the last moment things turned up unexpectedly and instead of hostel i decided to rent a room. The city kept reminding me of A'bad and Mumbai simultaeneously. The city is neither too slow nor too fast.
The city welcomed me with invitation to various different movie generes like irani films, some international classics n all which i started enjoying with my aunt. I was certainly right about staying in pune though sometime i feel, it would have been better in mumbai but, its just for a moment.
As usual had gr8 up n downs this week. Sometimes life hits you so hard that after the shock only you realizes values of many things...
Well internet usage has got limited these days but will continue with blogging.
Here's the flash back....
Movies i liked recently.....
Goya
Moj Nikifore
Stupid moments i faced.....
Once lost my way on the way to my room n kept roaming for hours n hrs.
The things i loved in d city
The cuisines, i loved the food over here.!
Something that i hated most,
POLLUTION
Somehing strange but funny......
Restaurants with strange banners n marks

So introspection to be continued as an outsider. Don't know what to write these days but just wanted to blog something so ended up with this....

Fiction of My Life…

2008-07-14T17:59:00.003+05:30

I always admired you

Your ingenuity fascinated me

I like the way you understood me

I knew that you are the only one

Who’s gonna keep me smiling

I wished all the happiness to you

It was a beautiful dream I ever had

I thought of that evening….

A walk on the shore, hand in hand

The chit chat, I never wanted to end

You rested on my shoulder

The feeling, I wished never gone

I had a picture of you in mind

My drawing brush in hand

But the picture never appeared on the paper

Since you were the fiction of my life.

Waking Up from The American Dream

2008-07-06T03:22:00.004+05:30

Just one or two week and I'll be taking a big break from this city, "Aamchi Mumbai". Weather i was knocked out of the race or promoted i don't know and don't want to find out by introspection. Was that me running after excuses or excuses on my trail, i have no idea. One call and DEJAVU! Something that reminded me of consequences from the past. I just wanted to laugh at myself. I was a bloody victim of circumstances and funniest part was that these circumstances can never be blamed.

Two days Later
I finished with "The Outsider" by Albert Camus. The hero of the story pays a big price for his true emotions. It costs him his life. There was one remarkable statement by Camus. Truth is not just speaking what is not lie but it's even more than that. The hero does whatever he feels at that moment and lives his life in his own way but his emotions are not acceptable by society like, he doesn't cry at his mother's funeral and then next day gets accused for a accidental murder. According to law he could have got punished and jailed for some years but the court finds him a very hard person which lacks sensitivity and finds him dangerous for society and sentence him to death.

I was very much inspired by this outsider. Sometimes our surrounding affects us and we get so much carried away that we don't even realize our inner voice. Anyways that helped me to realize some absurd things going around me.
That Call was a wake up call. When i thought it's all over, it was a beginning.

Numb!

2008-06-14T23:58:00.008+05:30

It was a scene from the game, The Fall of Max Payne where time slows down and Max chooses to look back into d past and analyzes himself. My results brought me to this moment. My % had no significance. Eyes of dear ones made me realized how i have cheated them but i preferred smiling. There was no feeling of remorse. The next moment i felt it's bullshit. I should feel sad about what i had done but still no guilt. Was i autistic? Doubts surrounded me and i questioned myself for the worst performance i ever did in my academics. Many things to blame but i was the big cause. I was really depressed by then. I just had 59%. (84, 71 n now 59! ) Something that made me truly NUMB

When i thought i am totally in the middle of nowhere, 3 icons put me back on d track. Albert Camus, Vincent van Gogh and Pablo Picasso. Existentialist Albert Camus introduced me to the Absurdism. I read his Outsider this week and was pretty much inspired by that. The life of Vincent Van Gogh and then paintings of Pablo Picasso made me answered the questions I had by then. I am free from all the doubts now.

Albert Schweitzer was right. He said, "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful". I was on his side. I might have done bad in academics but the things that I learned in these 2 years are most precious than d results. My experiences had cherished my life.

-
PS: If you haven't read Albert Camus till now, please do read it. It's worth reading.

Song mood: Dream On - Aerosmith

Highs n Lows

2008-05-27T23:54:00.003+05:30

It's was like some of those typical questions, but stroked the chord. The most daring thing you ever did! I scanned my past and didn't find anything which required much daring or it is something that after doing the most daring thing u may not find it that daring but that's what made me stalled for a moment. If there was nothing that much challenging then why do we keep complaining about our lives? We really have a happy life guys but sometimes it's just that we don't realize it or even if we realize, we realizes it at the cost of time!
Had a gr8 week this time. Finished with chetan bhagat's 3 mistakes of my life. It was just ok-ok. Results are coming on the doorsteps and believe me i m not ready for it. Anyways, the turning point is coming nearer and i have planned to enjoys the all highs n lows of life from now onwards. My philosophical mind and emotional heart has agreed to the fact that no one has blessed with a life without struggle so it's better to accept all the challenges coming along the way with smile coz that's the only thing you can do.
Pixies song is running in my mind....where is my mind???

In the Middle of something!

2008-05-27T23:20:00.004+05:30

How strange is that?

When u r left alone in the crowd

Searching for the hand

That we held decades back

Which guided us the way.

But now it is missing

Had left us in d middle of something!

A Mighty Heart - Story of Daniel Pearl

2008-04-13T02:01:00.005+05:30

After long negligence, Yesterday night i finally watched the movie 'A mighty heart' which was highly recommended by my friend Jubin to me. After watching the movie I felt 'Silent'. The story of Daniel Pearl touched me and had a significant impact. After watching the movie i couldn't hold longer to get all the information of Daniel Pearl. Got a brief at wikipedia about his life. Now I'll be getting that book A Mighty Heart since the whole movie is based on that.

Daniel Pearl was an American Journalist who was kidnapped and murdered in Karachi. He was investigating the case of Richard Reid, the shoe bomber, and alleged links between Al Qaeda and Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI).
It's a very disturbing thing that Daniel Pearl was murdered very badly and was cut into ten pieces. Question that came out as volcano in my mind was why he paid such a big price? For his Sincere efforts? For his passion towards journalism?

He was a truly brave person and I salute him from heart.

Scientist, Religion and finally We, the people!

2008-04-10T05:46:00.003+05:30

Just few days ago, read a very interesting article on Einstein and his religion in Times of India. The writer simply lights on concepts of scientists about religion. When i discussed this issue with my friend and after going through some forums i came across that scientists were found to be more religious. Well that doesn't means that hey used to go through all religious activities but they were kind of spiritual persons we can say. I really think that the concepts they expressed in that period about god or religion were really cool. Einstein said that he finds the god in the laws of universe. So to study god one should study the laws of universe..he says indirectly! Th concept of cosmic religion or we can say that these guy's religion concept really resembles with cosmic religion.

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotisms." (Albert Einstein, obituary in New York Times, 19 April 1955)

Well, Thinking of such concepts at that time, makes him more scientific i think. Well they thought or imagined god beyond our limits centuries ago and we still sometimes mess up in the darkness for the light which we have not yet defined to ourselves.

Techonlogy makes life Easier! Is it?

2008-04-06T00:05:00.004+05:30

Just a couple of days ago, had a good discussion with friend on the topic technology. We were discussing the latest upcoming technologies and I was telling him that how technology has enriched our life and has made it much easier. Then he raised the question that does technology have really made your life comfortable? Of course, yes. My ipod, mobile etc relly makes me enjoy the life when at a traffic, at lecture and everywhere.
Then this guy stated with the example yes you are right at your first thoughts but now think about second thoughts. When the advance farming techniques were not in the exercise, lets assume that one used to get 100 tomatoes from his land. Since he started using the advance techniques afterwards, he started getting 500 tomatoes in same time same efforts. But with the increased production he has to work hard against the remaining factors such as transportation, preservation and marketing of those 500 tomatoes which he used to do easily against those 100 ones.
I was not satisfied with the example but I started thinking that night. When I take my computer in picture, the first i see is it's efficiency which makes my all tasks simpler but at the same time i start getting second thoughts about the overall time it costs me. When exams are nearer i have to keep my pc and internet off. Why? Because it really consumes the time at times!
Technology portrays the real beautiful picture of future but it never promises it in the present. When technology predicted those multimedia cell phones it was amazing but now what about those controversial MMS clips releasing day by day. I know technology has its own benefits and flaws. Benefits depends upon the utilization of source technology but still the never ending question arises, why is life still stressful then. Even after having all those technology comforts within our lives why are we still seeking yogas and all for stress relief? In converse are we making technology to make life easier or harder? Well, big progress, big problems! Gotta need to think about this!

Psychology of Gadgets...

2008-03-31T01:41:00.008+05:30

It may sounds stupid but have you ever think about mentality or psychology of your gadgets? Yesterday i transferred my computer to my home and i was thinking about it as i spent my 2 years with it. Everyday of mine used to begin with it. It was not just a PC but a friend who used to sing Pink Floyed, Linkin Park, Aerosmith songs for me in the morning which used to give me a kick start to begin with my work.
So coming back to our main topic Psychology of gadgets, let me tell you one of my experience. My PC used to fail to start sometimes. First I thought, there might be some problem in the power system but after few hours if i tries to turned it on, it used to get start. I always wonder how come it got automatically stated? One day i showed it to one of the reputed shop where they tried to turned it on and surprisingly it got started! That shopkeeper told me that it might be my fault in connections. Sometimes when it fails to start, i used to remove and join all connections but that formula also stopped working after few days and then i started praying in front of my computer and joined all the connection and hopefully it started also. I know it's not a magic. Yes, there are scientific reasons involved behind it which i don't know but for me it was nothing but behavior of my computer to myself.

I don't know whether it's a part of my bad luck or something but whatever gadgets i faced up till now were always full of some strange problems. I will considered my mobile as good example of it. My mobile for me is not only Walkman but a gaming machine, a dictionary....almost like a computer. But it also has some strange behavior. Sometimes my mobile usage becomes very heavy. I listen music constantly for more than 2 hrs... then using it for internet as modem...talking to friends for a long time. At such times it used to get switched off automatically and will not start until i removes my memory card. When inquired at nokia care, i came to know that it's a rare problem.

Man made the gadgets. May be while making these things his emotions could have got transferred. Sometimes my pc used to works properly when i have lost all my hopes about it's cure. There are many incidents about my mobile also. When i was in desperate need of music n mobile started working properly automatically. I m not writing all these to point out magic or something but to note that human behavior can be seen ANYWHERE!

If we look at gadgets in manner of personification then there behavior can surely be justified!

Mesmerizing Mackichan Life...

2008-03-30T00:44:00.021+05:30

Tonight is the last night i m spending with my computer in this hostel. Tomorrow it will be at my home and i have to stay in the hostel for a while. I was recollecting these 2 years of my life in the Mackichan Hall, one of the best hostel in Bombay.

Two years back, when i entered this hostel i never thought that I'll be spending some of my best years in life over here. When joined the hostel, for a moment i felt like staying in the prison and i thought warden to be jailer of this prison but my impressions got changed withing very few days.

Staying with the roomies was a fun. I'll miss Jubin n Sheldon, my roomies for that. Sheldon was kind of very irritating person some times. I would like to call him a laughing bomb as he used to get blast when he laughs. His laughing can awake d whole hostel. He was irritating but a good buddy to stay with. Jubin, the sleeping beauty of the hostel. I had a very good time with this guy. We had fights, some aggressive, healthy n all kinds of discussions and competition too. He was a backbone of all 12th std. guys in the hostel. He accompanied us in our failure as well as success. We watched many movies together in the hostel and had different kind of opinions. He was a good sportsman and used to prefer sleeping all the time....just kidding dude..

College and Hostel both had a significant impact on my life. I found myself improving. I started communicating easily in English. Hostel's Fresher's Night, Talent Night, Sport activities gave us a very good opportunity in finding out our talent. We discovered not only talent but many hidden facts of individual's life over here. I met many different kinds of people. From Chingky's to Mauritius, Bhivandi's to MP n UP's n etc.

Those night outs, getting caught by the warden, everything was a fun. We people studied together n had a great time. I also had a great time with my other buddies like Zor, Sami, Jacob, Somendro and everybody. I still remember those nights of exam, when world used to sleep n we people used to study like anything. I hardly found any serious fights between the hostelites.

Now as the time of saying goodbye to this hostel is coming closer, I am not able to make my mind. In the second year, i got the single room and started exploring the life generously. This hostel was full extra-ordinary personalities. Out of these 2 i have already discussed. Other fellows like Zor and Jacob, were a great entertainment for me. Zor is a good painter and i always appreciate his paintings. Jacob was a kind of cartoon character, always used to makes us laugh with his funny expressions and Hindi dialog deliveries. Jacob was from Manipore and when asked about his place, used to explain about Singapore. These North-East people were really great buddies of mine. Even Somendro, Lenonn Raghumani were a good friend of mine. I never felt the distance between our places as our friendship bond was strong enough. Tommy, one more guy from the land of Shilong, fascinated by US and always used to keep arguing me. We had extreme discussions but because of him i also watched many Hollywood movies. I can express myself better these days because of the HARDCORE discussions I had with him.

Even Warden, Joseph Verghese, the dude of hostel really rocks! When he is on a round in night, he used to come like a gentlemen person dressed in formals n used to catch those guys, (who are away from their room on odd timings), like a fisherman looking for the fishes. Although he was a strict person but was a very kind and sensitive person from heart.

Oops! forgot to menton my first year in the hostel! Well as soon as the first year of hostel came to an end i found my senior friends leaving me with memories that guided me the next phase of my life. Some names i can't forget to mention are Jomel the anna, Ashutosh d kalia, Ajay d bhaiyya, lalit d scientist, atif d fakih n shaaz d mahadik! Rohan d chok!

This hostel has cherished my life and this memories will always keep encouraging me in my future life. I still remember that someone said about hostel that, when u enter into the hostel you are a kid but when you leave the hostel you are no more a child but a man!

Time slows down...

2008-03-19T14:45:00.007+05:30

It's was a time...
when i wanted to run,
when i wanted to cry,
words turned into bullets,
and penetrated my mind.
Left me with the silence
and no more fragrance.
I had my question-marks,
which remained unanswered
n Time slows down....

Bullet-time zaps to d past,
looks like a magical cast.
In the search of childhood,
I found no brotherhood
That Undefined love,
made my step wrong.
Revenge in my mind,
looks for the payback time
n time slows down....

Freezing moments makes me scare,
But thank god it's just a Nightmare,
But still sometimes...,
when it's silent so loud,
Some screaming strikes the chord,
n Time Slows down....

Compete with competitor not life!

2008-03-17T22:42:00.008+05:30

Exams ... It's not that serious issue for many of us but the thing is that does it really judge us perfectly? I don't need to tell about the competition we face everyday. The same old story starts from the childhood for many of us. 1st in 10th std. u get into a good coaching class, then pay a high n hard cash to prepare yourself for exams n then celebrate the joy. After all it's our hard work which takes us to the higher heights but we hardly realize this things. The story keeps going... You get into a good college, u starts enjoying the life at the same time u get asked to start preparing for 12th n then again this private institution's business starts. . .

If u join the class then u just need to follow what they say n get good marks if u could . . . if u don't join, then better study yourself n depend on your college provided that u are extra-ordinary person with highly developed brain. Isn't it?

Just compare ourself to other countries guys.... i m not saying this to prove or to justify how much others are developed but just to tell the fact that u won't find students in other part of world joining such institutions, just to get what they want. I don't understand when we people will come out of this education bazaar. Though we have a very talented faculties n colleges in our country.... why we still seek these classes?

Also as India is becoming booming IT sector others countries are looking forward to get the employees from India as it is very very convenient for them to pay in rupees rather than in dollars. So if u have good percentage, a well developed education profile, u get your piece of cake or otherwise keep struggling to define your position in this world.

If we don't realize the things now obviously the coming generations will suffer drastically. Just give your thoughts a freedom guys. Think about your hobbies. Just think about your career guys . . . Are you gonna choose it just because it's gonna give you a high salary package or or just because u want to do that?

If we all just run after the money .....i don't think it will promise any brighter tomorrow rather it will be a tough competitive field where i don't know how many aamir khan will be present to awake the hearts of these brittle fraternities.

IIT Techfest 2008

2008-01-28T14:43:00.000+05:30

Unexpectedly this year's tech-fest seen to be better than expected! I went with one of my best friend Lalit and had a great fun with his friends over there. IIT organised the fest really in an discipline manner. The lectures and the events like FULL THROTTLE, TECHNOHOLIX - LASER-FLOYED, AIR SHOW and ROBOTICS were awesome events! This year's T-shirt was one of the best and even the crowd was seen struggling for the Microsoft T-shirt. As usual the IITns created the tech-environment in the campus which hold the crowd till last moment. I came across many incidents which kept me shocked for a moment. A 9th std. guy who participated in Robotics beat the IIT guys in starting round. It was very difficult to come out at the end from campus. 3 Days were more than enough to trigger the tech-dream inside everybody over there. Let's see what action it takes in the next Techfest 2009!

Resistance and We

2007-11-01T19:48:00.000+05:30

It was a week after my exams! I was revising the chapter current electricity. The output current is less if resistance is more......n etc. The thing is, in reality also we people have resisted ourselves to a limited extent! Do we have realized our real potential? Many times it's seen that we think that i'll do this, i'll do that n continues.....

But in reality very few amoung us do best of them! You might be thinking that it doesn't matter! But it actually does matter! Just look out guys You will find many different things in life......Your potential can change the worst part to a beatuful part of life!

We see the children on streets everyday! Does the scenario says anything to you? Just think out....You might not get the answer but you will get my point. Even the lotus in mud says many things to us.

There are many things which we may think that are senseless but it has a meaning! It's upto us - our attitude that how we look at the thing.........It's depend upon our perception. Just look out, out of the narrow streets of our mind!

Last Minute Study.......final blast!

2007-10-24T23:38:00.000+05:30

I was always proud of the thing that i can study the syllabus at last moment. But that really sucks! My first terminal exam....... Biology - the vast syllabus but the whole night n day i spent for the subject --- n in exam my mind went blank as soon as i got the question paper! Same for chemistry! really it even destroys the things u already done with!

And finally i must accept that last minute studies never works....So anybody here .. who feels they are masters of last moment plz...... think again n work it out. i better start my studies frm now onwards!!!!!! hmmmmm........

The Reason - My favourite song!

2007-10-13T13:46:00.000+05:30

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you (x4)

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you!!

Mumbai.......The race of lives.

2007-10-13T01:29:00.000+05:30

It's a one and half year today when i left my hometown n i came here to study. In my earlier visits to this city i never like this city so much rather i used to hate. I saw people fighting for getting a place in the crowded train, i saw them traveling hours n hours to get their destination. I saw the speed n i felt sad that moment. I couldn't imagine how these people can spend their half of life in just traveling in these locals.

When I came to hostel, i felt nothing until i realize that from now on i have to live life alone in this city. That made me really nervous and i started to return but it was like a one way of my life. There was no option to return.
When i used to feel lonely, no body used to come. when i was feeling depressed, nobody listen. I used to wonder that where are those people who promised me once that they will be always with me. But this city made me realized the fact. There is much difference to what we see and actual reality. How relations can also be so artificially natural......this city taught me.
Be Independent in all ways......Money goes to money like that people also helps the wealthy. They don't want to listen your problems but they always like to share your happiness.
This city is really like a race of lives....one who slows down get knocked-out.